A hard day won’t wait for your next appointment.

When you read an abusive comment, your body may react as if the threat were beside you. First, put your phone face down and take six steady out-breaths. Name the fact: “Someone posted an abusive comment.” Then separate it from your identity: “This is somebody’s online behaviour, not a description of my worth.” Do not reply while the first wave is high.

Take a screenshot showing the account and date, then use mute, block and report. Ask friends not to forward more comments “so you know”. If the abuse continues, keep the incidents in one place. Documenting it does not mean you are overreacting; it makes the situation easier to show to an adult, your school or the platform.

Choose one safe person and be specific: “Someone is posting these things about me and I need help reporting it.” If there are threats, exposed personal details, blackmail or concern for your safety, contact a trusted adult or emergency services immediately. You do not have to manage this alone.

“Everyone is better” usually puts different people and abilities into one ranking. Pause and make it precise: “Who exactly? Better at what? Based on which moment?”. You may be comparing your answer in class with someone’s best mark, or an ordinary day with their selected photo. Getting specific is not empty reassurance; it checks what you actually know.

Draw two columns. In the first, write three things you value regardless of performance: loyalty, curiosity, humour, courage or care. In the second, add one action for today that expresses each value, such as messaging a friend or asking one question. You can practise values without being in first place.

When comparison returns, use the line: “My mind is making another ranking.” Then direct attention to your own next action rather than someone else’s result. If these thoughts repeatedly take away your interest in school, people or everyday activities, tell a trusted adult or a mental health professional.

Do not begin the most important conversation in the middle of an argument. Ask: “I want to explain something important. Can we talk for ten minutes after dinner?”. First, write three sentences: what is happening, how you feel and what you need. For example: “When you check my phone without asking, I feel angry and not trusted. I want us to agree some privacy rules.”

Stay with one subject and avoid “always” and “never”. Ask your parent to repeat what they heard before responding, and do the same for them. Then suggest one small, concrete arrangement to try for a week. If the conversation turns into shouting, say: “I want to come back to this when we are calmer” and agree another time.

Your parent may not agree immediately, but that does not mean you explained your needs badly. You can ask another adult, a teacher or school counsellor to help. If you fear violence at home or do not feel safe, urgently contact a trusted adult or the appropriate emergency service.

A like count tells you how many reactions one post received at one moment. It does not measure whether you are a good friend, an interesting person or have something important to say. When you catch yourself refreshing, label the thought: “My mind is trying to turn a counter into a judgement of me.” It is a thought, not a score of your worth.

Before posting, set a rule: turn off notifications and do not check reactions for an hour. During that time, do something you experience directly rather than something that rates you — listen to music, walk the dog, draw or message one person. If you often delete posts from embarrassment, wait until the next day before deciding.

Make a private list of evidence that cannot be liked: I kept my promise, helped someone, tried despite nerves, or rested when I needed to. Add specific actions, not compliments. You can also hide like counts and limit time in the app. The aim is not to stop enjoying reactions, but to stop giving them the whole judgement of you.