You can love your baby and still feel afraid. Both can be true.

When you wake with racing thoughts, do not try to solve the whole future in bed. Rest a hand wherever it feels comfortable and breathe without forcing depth: in for a gentle count of four, out for six. Repeat six times. If counting increases tension, simply let each out-breath last a little longer than the in-breath.

Next, practise stepping back from the thought. Instead of “something is wrong”, say silently: “I am having the thought that something is wrong.” Name the emotion too: “This is anxiety.” You do not have to remove it. You are simply noticing that a thought is an event in your mind, not medical information.

Write down one worry and one morning action, such as calling your midwife or asking a question at your appointment. Then return your attention to the pillow and the weight of your body. Follow your care team’s advice for worrying physical symptoms; if you are unsure whether they need urgent attention, use the medical contact number you have been given.

Tearfulness, irritability and feeling overwhelmed can appear after birth. Rather than trying to label them yourself, make a brief note for several days: mood, sleep when the baby is not waking you, appetite, anxiety and whether you can manage basic tasks. What matters is not one difficult moment, but whether symptoms persist, intensify and interfere with daily life.

Contact your midwife, GP or a mental health professional if sadness is not easing, is becoming deeper, cuts you off from people or makes caring for yourself or the baby difficult. You can show them your notes and say directly: “Since the birth, I have felt like this for most of the day and I need an assessment.” You do not need to wait until things feel unbearable.

For today, choose one basic need and request precise help: a meal, a shower, an hour of rest or another person’s company. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or the baby, severe confusion or loss of contact with reality, seek emergency help immediately.

Pregnancy and motherhood can hold conflicting emotions. Try a “both things are true” exercise. Complete two sentences: “I am glad about…” and “At the same time, I feel…”. You can love your baby and miss your old life, look forward to the birth and fear labour, feel grateful and exhausted. One feeling does not cancel another.

When “I should be happy” appears, label it: “This is a rule I am placing on myself.” Ask whether you would say it to someone you care about in the same situation. Replace it with something closer to reality: “I do not have to feel one emotion all the time. I can check what I need now.”

For one day, reduce a source of pressure: mute an account showing only idealised motherhood, or tell someone: “I do not need reminding that I should be happy; I need you to listen.” If difficult emotions persist or interfere with daily life, consider discussing them with your midwife, GP or a psychologist.

Begin by changing the goal: for the next few minutes, you do not have to fall asleep; you are simply giving your body conditions for rest. Dim the screen, support your body comfortably and take six gentle breaths with a slightly longer out-breath. Check your forehead, jaw, shoulders and hands in turn, allowing each area to soften a little.

If thoughts return, keep paper nearby. Write a few words and a morning action: “baby supplies — check the list after breakfast”. Then name three neutral sensations, perhaps cool air, the weight of the duvet and a sound outside. This gives your attention somewhere quieter than planning and predicting.

If you have been lying awake and growing tense, and can get up safely, move briefly to a calm place and do something unstimulating; return when you feel sleepy. Discuss regular or very disruptive sleeplessness with your GP or midwife, especially before using medicines, herbal products or supplements during pregnancy or breastfeeding.